Cinema Paradiso

The heart is the secret inside the secret

Finding Love

A film by Hailey Bartholomew

"If we choose to look for something beautiful in the people around us, we will find it."

Filmmaker and photographer Hailey Bartholomew recently moved to the beach and decided to test her theory that "what we see mainly depends on what we look for." In three weeks of walking the beach every couple of days, she and her family and friends found 352 heart rocks! In this sweet video, made on a shoestring budget (filmed on an iPhone and edited in iMovie), Hailey concludes that "If we choose to look for something beautiful in the people around us, we will find it."

Reconnecting with Friends

by Madisyn Taylor

When fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason.

Every person that passes through our lives makes a contribution to our life stories. There are those who play large roles and make deep impressions, but sometimes a brief special appearance before life takes them in another direction creates a meaningful connection. It is a rare gift when they suddenly reappear in our lives after a long absence.

Though the world may seem full of more people than we could ever know, we are often drawn to people with similar energy, which brings us together time and time again. On first meeting, the characters in our life stories may seem familiar. We may know each other from past lives or perhaps we merely recognize the energy of a kindred spirit. But when fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason. They may act as messengers, reminding us of a part of ourselves we have forgotten to nurture. They might appear to give us a chance to react in a new way to an old situation. They may even bring up unresolved issues so that we may complete them, giving us the chance to move forward on our life path. Whether old friends, previous romances, or once and future partners, their reappearance is more than mere chance. They may never know what they bring into our lives, but the renewed contact is a gift.

If this hasn’t happened to you, maybe you are meant to initiate contact by seeking out old friends. If old friends come to mind or into your dreams, use their appearance as an excuse to get in touch. If an old song or movie reminds you of them, reach out to share the gift of renewed contact. Wherever you fall in the circle of connection and reconnection, be sure to look beyond the surprise of the moment to enjoy the deeper gift that this revelation brings.

As true beauty grows with time

I believe that true love is more of soul connection, the one that can stand the test of time, the one that lasts.

"Grow old along with me
The best is yet to be
When our time has come
We will be as one
God bless our love
God bless our love"

Key to Success

Painting by Carrie Jackson

Dream of Life

“Wind’s Dream” – painting by Metamorphosys

We are like the spider.
We weave our life and then move along in it.
We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives in the dream.
This is true for the entire universe.
~ The Upanishads

Samsara

Film Review by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
Samsara (2011) - Directed by Ron Fricke


"Out of life comes death,
and out of death, life.
Out of the young, the old,
and out of the old, the young.
Out of waking, sleep,
and out of sleep, waking.
The stream of creation and dissolution
never stops."
— Heraclitus in The Circle of Life
 


The Sanskrit word Samsara refers to the wheel of life, the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. The term also embraces journeying in Buddhism and Hinduism. Both meanings are evident in this enthralling non-narrative documentary from director Ron Fricke and producer Mark Magidson.

Fricke and Magidson were the creative forces behind the extraordinary 1992 documentary Baraka, an unforgettable collection of snapshots from the global family album. With breathtaking cinematography and mesmerizing music, that film enabled us to see with our eyes and feel in our flesh the shared distress of Earth and humankind, so that we understood that that the healing of self and the healing of the planet are inextricably linked. Startling and beguiling images portrayed the vastness and variety of nature, city life, sacred sites, and religious rituals. We have seen Baraka many times over the years, and every viewing expands our awareness of the world and enables us to widen the circle of our compassion.

The same spiritual emphases are evident in Samsara which was shot over the course of five years in twenty-five countries on five continents. The filmmakers take us on a quest to a greater understanding and appreciation of the human condition and a reverence for the beauty and power of the natural world. And they help us face up to worldwide suffering, poverty, greed, violence, lust, and adoration of war and financial success.

In the midst of suffering and death, we discover that there are paths to rebirth or human transformation. With great respect for all the world's religions, the filmmakers deliver lavish and visually compelling images of devotional practices and rituals of Tibetan Buddhists, Christians, Jews, and Muslims.
Experiencing Samsara, we are challenged to leave behind our passive and isolated role of spectators and to step into the incredible energy streams of the wheel of life. For each of us, in our own way, is caught up in the cycles of life, death, and rebirth. And our journeys are connected to those of the people on the screen: we are rich and poor, happy and sad, hurried and at peace, open to change and locked in service to authoritarian leaders, filled with lust and dutifully spinning prayer wheels, searching for security and coming to terms with impermanence. Samsara shows us in no uncertain terms that the movements of creation and dissolution never stop.

EXISTENCE AS A CIRCLE

"The predominant world view shared by the majority of American Indian nations is that of the circularity of existence. It is a universe in which, as Black Elk put it, 'the Power of the world always works in a circle and everything tries to be round.' The cycle of the seasons, the circling of the sun and moon, even the round shapes of the nests of birds, are evidence of this. Just as every point on a circle is equal to every other point, no place being closer to the center than any other, all created things are regarded as being of equal importance. All things — not only humans and animals and plants, but even the winds, the waters, fire, and the stones — are living and sentient. Further, just as the strands of a spider web are so interconnected that touching one makes all the others tremble, in that circular universe everything is connected to everything else."
— Joseph Bruchac in Our Stories Remember

Circles seems to show up everywhere when we are on a spiritual journey. In Samsara we watch a group of Tibetan monks working on a circular sand mandala. In the beginning of the film, we see their intricate work pouring colored streams of sand to make the mandala; at the end, we are witnesses to its destruction. The poignant message of these scenes is about the beauty, fragility, and impermanence of life. We must live in the present moment and savor its possibilities.

We spin the circular prayer wheels with young monks in a Tibetan monastery to send our compassion out to the world. Who is in need?

• people of the Third Ward in New Orleans cleaning up after Katrina,
• youngsters and elders searching in garbage dumps full of toxic computer parts,
• gaunt and angry children in large city slums,
• soldiers standing guard with rifles and clenched fists,
• scowling African tribesmen wary of intruders,
• a geisha girl shedding a tear.
Can we draw closer to these souls who are our equals in the circle of life?

TAKE NOTICE OF THE WONDERS

"To pray is to take notice of the wonder, to regain a sense of the mystery that animates all beings, the divine margin of all our attainments."
— Abraham Joshua Heschel quoted in Spiritual Literacy by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat

One of the joys of the human adventure is taking in the beauty and the majesty of the world around us. Samsara is a sense-luscious film that embraces many of the most stunning places on the planet. This documentary turns us into wanderers on the lookout for new wonders; we understand why D. H. Lawrence declared wonder to be the sixth sense, a religious sense.
Samsara unfolds without narration, so it gives us plenty of space to make it into our own guided meditation and prayer. Let the following images stir your senses and your souls:

• the delicate beauty of traditional Balinese dancers who open the film,
• the tide seen from the top of Mont St. Michael,
• the chandeliers in Chateau de Versailles,
• the light changes over red rock landscapes in Arches National Park in Utah,
• the majestic waterfalls at Epupa Falls, Angola,
• islands amidst turquoise waters,
• the enchanting fields and temples in Bagan, Myanmar,
• the ornate art on cathedral ceilings,
• the 1,000 Hand Goddess dancers in Beijing, China.
Make it your prayer to really notice these wonders, and see what happens.

A YEN FOR WAR

"The history of our species has been defined in large part by war. We see the great warrior traditions in nearly every civilization. If the warrior is an instinctual energy form, then it is here to stay. And it pays to face it."
— Robert Moore in Warrior

The winds of war are pervasive in these uneasy times. The filmmakers see no reason to ignore this world-wide propensity for arms, violence, hatred, and war. We see:
• grim-faced African warriors
• robotic marching soldiers on parade
• proud gun-owners and users
• a badly scarred war hero
• factory workers making guns and bullets
• a family burying someone in a casket shaped like a handgun
• prostitutes in Thailand
• factory workers creating sex dolls.

All these are signs of the dehumanization that feeds conflict. Each of us bears responsibility for being part of the system that allows and even encourages the warrior spirit over peace.

More images reveal a pervasive indifference to the poor and a lack of respect for anything. The gap between the rich and the poor is obvious as penthouses with their own swimming pools are contrasted with scenes of children sitting on bricks in garbage strewn houses. Workers are forced to carry back-breaking loads at a sulphur mine while others do mindless and repetitive work in huge factories. And when people are not respected, the disgusting and inhumane treatment of chickens and pigs in factory farms comes as no surprise. Even our beloved cars, pictured on busy Los Angeles highways, get no respect as they end their days being smashed into a slab of junk.

Perhaps the most surprising sequence in Samsara is Olivier De Sagazan's improvised act as an employee in a business suit seated at his desk who suddenly is seized by primal and crazy urges to let the wild man inside of him loose. Using clay and dirt and paint, he descends into a miasma of violence, anger, despair, darkness, and futility. It is a mesmerizing depiction of the shadow within all us, comprised of the things we hide and don't want anyone else to see.

THE MANY KINDS OF SPIRITUAL DEVOTION

"Devotion takes many forms: the solemnity and joy of prayer; the ecstasy of song, poetry, or art; the intimate connection between individuals in marriage, family, or community. It involves opening the heart fully to the presence of love and beauty, which brings compassionate and reverent awareness of the Divine in all things. Through the lens of devotion, every aspect of creation is seen as purposeful, and hence received in gratitude."
— Lavira Dasin in Opening the Inner Gates

Samsara is a guided meditation on life and death, but it doesn't stop there. It also presents the factors and forces which can lead to rebirth and personal transformation. The filmmakers put before us a thought-provoking mix of devotional rituals and practices which spur us on to new life. Here are a few to take to heart:

• the tattooed man expressing his adoration of his infant,
• a baptism taking place in Divine Savior Church in San Paulo,
• Muslims praying in various mosques around the world,
• Hasidic Jews praying at the Western Wall,
• an awesome overview shot of Muslim pilgrims circumambulating the Kaaba in Mecca,
• sports enthusiasts seeking renewal on sky slopes and a golf practice facility,
• people attending artistic performances,
• men and women working on their bodies in an urban health club,
• a large assembly of inmates exercising in unison at a prison in the Philippines,
• young martial arts students putting on an exhibition of their crisp and disciplined movements.

Samsara is not only a visual masterwork; it also has an incredible musical score by Michael Stearns, Lisa Gerrard, and Marcello de Francisci comprised of many different types of devotional music, religious and spiritual chants, and meditative orchestrations.

With its guided meditations, its visual variety and beauty, its spiritual and religious messages, its celebration of the natural world, its critique of war and all the factors that fuel hatred and violence, and its subtle efforts to help us see our oneness with the human family and the whole of creations, Samsara is in itself a profound spiritual experience. It is not only one of the best films of 2012; it is a film you will treasure for all your life.

Source: http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/films/films.php?id=23780

Oneness

"Embrace all things as part of the Harmonious Oneness, and then you will begin to perceive it" - Lao Tzu

I am Light

A red fox enjoys the sunset

credit: Jaymi Heimbuch

Humans aren't the only ones who like to sit in the garden and watch the sun set. This red fox pauses at the end of a garden path in Alaska to enjoy the last of the fading light.

Dance of Life

This world was made for you too. Enjoy it, explore it, experience it. Don't hold back. It is God's gift to you. Don't be a wallflower in the dance of life.

Only Time

Where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat." Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh....Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but he was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way. Love realizing how much he owed the elder and asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?" "It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

(Collected)

Namasté

Someone who cares

Shine

Personal Tales

by Madisyn Taylor

Painting by Josephine

We all have a story to tell whether we publish it or keep it for just ourselves or family; allow yourself to be heard.

Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story. Writing a memoir to read privately, share with family or friends, or publish is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on your experiences while sharing your unique voice. We’ve all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we are longing to write down. Giving in to that urge can give you an outlet for purging any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings. No one else has to read it. You may even want to write your story without reading it right away. Satisfying the need to tell your story is not predicated upon your writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail. Your memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, may at first seem disconnected or incomplete. But rest assured that you possess the ability to shape your recollections into stories.

Everyone wants to be heard. Reading your story to others can meet that need. Writing your story can also help you understand your life experiences. And when you finish writing, you may be surprised at what you have accomplished. Your story can encompass as much or as little of your life as you prefer. You may surprise yourself with new insights, or you may find yourself exploring your roots, your identity, and your future through your words. Allow your writing to guide you and write as truthfully as possible. Don’t worry about what others will think of your personal journey, your style of writing, or your words.

Research has shown that writing a personal narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits. As you write, remember to have compassion for yourself, particularly when writing about traumatic events. If you are a young person, you can add to your life story as you grow older. Your writing may help family members know you better, or they may understand themselves more through reading about your experiences. More importantly, you are expressing yourself in a permanent way, giving a gift to yourself, and letting your voice be heard.

Sowing the seeds of Love

if you want to win hearts,
sow the seeds of Love.
If you want heaven,
stop scattering thorns on the road.
~Rumi

For I am a pure flame

"Begin to speak the truth to your heart
And write its music upon your vision and
Soft pink tongue.
Soak all your prejudices in oil -
I would consider it a favor.

Bring and sing to me your darkest thoughts,
For my whole body is a blazing emerald wick,
I am a pure flame
Who needs and loves to burn your trash.

We should lean against each other more
In a strange world as this."

~Rumi

Bewitching

 “The day before” – by Leon Alegria

"Pure love” – by Metamorphosys

Evening time

 

Painting by Cathy Delanssay

Evening time is often overlooked in our busy lives, but is an important time of day for reflection on our day's actions.

From the beginning of time, a richly colored twinge of dusk touching the eastern horizon, the lengthening of shadows, and the appearance of the evening’s first star have let us know that it was time to rest, relax, and retire from the pressures of the day. For human beings and other living things that tend to be most active in daylight, evenings can be less hectic and more relaxing, as we prepare for sleep and spend quality time with our loved ones. But evenings are about much more than dinner and the feel of a cool, soft pillow. Evenings are a wonderful time to catalog the events of the day without distraction, to revel in gentle solitude or silence, to end the day in serenity, and to commune with your inner self.

There are many ways to turn the evening into a nurturing and soul enriching experience. A simple stroll through the realms of dusk and darkness can show you two different worlds: one winding down and one just coming to life. In the evening, the sounds we humans make begin to diminish, and the sounds of earth’s more nocturnal creatures and nature itself become more apparent. As night slowly falls, scents change, and the smell of the soil and greenery become magnified. Sky gazing in the evenings can be a meditative activity – one that reminds us that we are only one part of an infinitely complex and vast universe. Each night, the different phases of the moon show us the passage of time and the waxing and waning of life, as its glowing visage – whether in the shape of a circle, crescent, or a smile –bathes the world in an ethereal, wistful glow.

As crickets chirp and night birds cry out, evening rituals and routines can make your day feel complete, help you unwind from the day’s busyness, and pave the way for rejuvenating sleep. Rituals and routines help you say goodnight to the present day, so you can look forward to the next one. While the sun sets, try doing a series of stretches, lighting some candles, or watching the daylight fade. The soothing, natural beauty of each evening can be your backdrop, as you meditate, quiet your soul, and relax into the peace and stillness that can be found at day’s end.

by Madisyn Taylor

A Reason to Be Alive

Photo by Alex Stoddard

By Kate Carpenter

“100 years from now – all new people.” – Anne Lamott

Think about that for a minute. Everyone in the world right now will be gone. Will they have left their mark — had an impact — made a difference? Maybe.

How much can one person matter when there are almost 7 billion people on the planet? At any rate, the people who remember them — were impressed by them, disgusted by them, helped by them, hurt by them, loved by them, hated by them — will all be gone, too.

What matters most to each of us is what happens to us today … here … now. The “long run” is of very little consequence. As Ms. Lamott points out — and as John Maynard Keynes is often quoted (out of context) as saying — in the long run, we’ll all be dead.

So why are we here at all? Not even the most brilliant minds on the planet have been able to come up with a definitive answer, although conjecture has made for some very interesting debate. It would seem we’re not meant to solve the riddle during our lifetime.

So we all have to come up with our own reason. All we can do is guess. Maybe we’re here to earn our way into some version of heaven. Maybe we’re here in one of many incarnations, reaping karma and learning lessons.

Maybe we’re being tested, maybe we’re atoning, or maybe we’re just being punished — or rewarded. Maybe we’re a fluke of nature: we live, we die, and that’s it – no real point to it whatsoever. Who knows?

I assume that if there is a reason, that reason must be the same for everyone on earth. But how can that be when there is so much disparity among the people on the planet? From the billionaire who lives in Trump Towers with a Jacuzzi and room service to the Ugandan who lives in a mud hut with no electricity or running water, what is it that we all have in common?

Love and suffering.

I know there will be those who’ll argue that life doesn’t guarantee suffering, and that only pessimists and naysayers would suggest such a thing. But I have to disagree. Every human being develops attachments to people, places, and things that can — and ultimately will — be lost to them.

A basic premise of Buddhist teaching is that it is this very attachment to earthly things (including our own life) and the ultimate loss of these things that causes all suffering. Every faith from Judaism to Islam recognizes suffering as part of earthly life. And the very foundation of Christianity is the suffering of Jesus, Mary, and even God Himself.

The only antidote for suffering is love. Compassion, caring, sympathy, empathy, kindness, concern … these emotions are meant to alleviate the suffering of those around us. The lack of love is itself a form of suffering. Love is what we all ultimately have to offer if we want to matter in this lifetime. Nothing else we accomplish, acquire, or become is of any importance at all in the end.

So maybe it’s that simple, and this is the purpose of life: to care enough for others to try to alleviate whatever suffering they are going through — to make a positive difference in their lives in whatever way we can, whether it’s through giving money or inspiring hope or simply spending a little time to listen.

If we all lived by this principle, life would be both richer and easier for every one of us. Both the giving and the receiving would bring the happiness that material possessions promise but never deliver.

And if, at the end, we discover that there was some other “purpose,” for our life, at least we will have made the journey more bearable for each other while we were here.

About the Author:
From Kate Carpenter: I became a simple living groupie in college when I read Living Poor with Style by Ernest Callenbach in 1972. I started writing about it in 1998. I left the rat race to do it full time in 2010. I love stripping life down to its fundamentals without any distractions or complications blurring the focus. My goal every day is to make something simpler, smaller, or more clearly understood. Life shouldn’t have to be so hard!

Friendships in Nature

The light inside

Painting by Cathy Delanssay

"Made of stardust, we share the same cosmic history as the lions at the savannas and the lavenders on the fields. We are all connected through time and space, and thus connectedly interdependent. Just breathing links us to the rest of humanity - the billions of oxygen molecules that we inhale with each breath have some time or other been inside the lungs of each of the 50 billion individuals that have live on Earth. This cosmic and planetary perspective emphasizes not only our interdependence, but also how vulnerable our planet is, and how isolated we are among stars."~ Trinh Xuan Thuan, Professor of Astronomy at the University of Virginia

We are all relatives

We are made of sunlight, particles, water and so on. Of course we are also made of the food we eat, our parents, our friends and our experiences.

Like the weather, we constantly change. Sometimes it´s winter inside and our thoughts are cold and unfriendly, but the thoughts will melt down and new one will rise...

New experiences will start new habits - some parts of you are still a small child, but as an adult you can take care of that inner child.

But, like a flower, it's good to have a rich soil and a lot of sun sunlight and water - because we ARE that sunlight and that water, and we ARE the oxygen that we inhale which produced by the plants.

We have a name and a personal history, and it's good to have that and sometimes tell the memories to other people, because, that's our identity.

But in a deeper sense, we are not our name and history - we are more like the flower in my window; radiated by light - the light has for a while manifested itself as a flower together with water and so on - so the flower - and you - ARE light. And do you know that you and the flower share about 50% of the genes with each other.

The light inside
 
Don't be afraid. Don't be ashamed of yourself.  Sometimes this life is tough, really tough. It is meant to be, meant to be experienced the hard way. But in the end everything is going to be okay. Let the light guide you. In the end everything will be okay - if there is an end...

When life is tough, you learn, so you probably will learn all life. But you better watch out not to be pessimistic or bitter, there will always be happy moments - intermezzos between the learning time.

Try to do the things you like to do, try to be thankful. Try to think that life is rich of experiences. Try to be aware of every moment, even when you are just walking. Feel the foot meeting the ground. Feel the wind in your face, hear the dog barking, the bird singing ....

Trouble and dark moments will come again, but with awareness, even of your own thoughts, you can handle it with care. You can take care of the dark moments and thoughts as if it were a crying child...

Contrast

Life is built by contrast; black and white, sorrow and happiness, long and short, right and left, and so on. And of course, the contrasts are dependent of each other.

Thich Nhat Hanh use to give an example by a piece of paper; if the right side of the paper has not been there, the left could not exist. And happiness, symbolised by the white colour could not be seen without the dark colours.So don not be afraid of the dark times, they are needed for the coming happiness.

But be prepared to change. Sorrow is a sign for that something is wrong. Perhaps a belief that no longer is needed. For the times are really changing, and you better follow it or turn to a stone.

Religious doctrines and fundamentalism are really old age, so are the belief that we are the masters of the earth. The earth will be all right some thousands of years after we have polluted it too much - but probably we will not ...

Tomas

I belong with you

Lennon and Maisy Stella - "Ho Hey" (by The Lumineers) 

I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart

Nature's child

Rose

Dont run away from grief , o soul
Look for the remedy inside the pain.
because the rose came from the thorn
and the ruby came from a stone.

Rumi

Beautiful!

Video by: Nino Canino
Music by: Nahko

"Each day that I wake, I give thanks, I give praise... and the day that i don't wake up and transcend the holy maker I am capable, I am powerful. and the day that i don't wake up and transcend the holy make I am on my way, to a different place."

 

Brilliant!

So strong yet so fine

Neither trap, nor of chain, then why do we feel encaged?
What shackle and what rope is so strong yet so fine?
~ Rumi

Bhutan - The last Shangrila

by Anandajoti

Another episode from the National Geographic Living Edens series, that was made from 1997-2003.

This one looks at nature and culture in the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan, which has a variety of terrain, stretching from the high and barren plateaus to the lush tropics.

It is once again a very sympathetic look at Buddhist culture and its interaction with the wildlife and landscapes where it is situated, where there is a much greater balance in the eco-system and hunting is forbidden.

Throughout the film we return to an unknown traditional painter at work as he paints a canvas full of the kingdom’s wildlife, which we then switch to in real life.

Starting in the high plateaus of the mountains and moving gradually down to the foothills, we see a variety of creatures: bhariyal, vultures, red pandas, deer, buffalo, golden langur, horn-bills and elephants.

The whole is framed within a traditional Buddhist story of the four harmonious friends, which tells how an elephant, monkey, rabbit and a bird help each other and live in harmony.

You are someone's reason to smile

Little Angel

This is my symphony

To live content with small means; 
to seek elegance rather than luxury, 
and refinement rather than fashion; 
to be worthy, not respectable, 
and wealthy, not, rich; 
to listen to stars and birds, 
babes and sages, with open heart; 
to study hard; 
to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, 
await occasions, hurry never; 
in a word, to let the spiritual, 
unbidden and unconscious, 
grow up through the common

– this is my symphony.

~William Ellery Channing

"I just love this verse by William Ellery Channing. It reminds me to slow down, to revel in quality, to live intentionally and beautifully…" ~ Deeanne

100 ways to be elegant

by Deeanne

1. Send thank you notes

2. Practice good posture

3. Speak more softly

4. Listen without interrupting

5. Wear solid colours

6. Ignore fads, or use them sparingly

7. Have a signature wine that you serve at home

8. Wear only 2-3 accessories

9. Have impeccable manners

10. Read on a variety of topics

11. Maintain a budget

12. Study the arts

13. Have one signature perfume/cologne

14. Show restraint in expressing anger

15. Learn the art of conversation

16. Learn French

17. Wear a trench coat

18. Learn how to wear a scarf

19. Wear a tuxedo, when one is called for

20. Practice quality over quantity

21. Don’t yell or scream

22. Learn to dance the waltz

23. Have one fabulous signature meal you serve guests

24. Remember birthdays

25. Go on picnics

26. Wear dresses/suits more often, and on dates

27. Simplify your life, your home and your calendar

28. Wear pearls

29. Open the door for ladies

30. Let him open the door for you

31. Remember that it’s more important to be kind than it is to be right

32. Serve coffee or tea after meals

33. Arrive exactly on time

34. Don’t complain

35. Dress to travel

36. Be well travelled

37. If you’re a women, don’t wear black shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day…wear spectator pumps instead

38. Keep your home clean and uncluttered

39. When guests stay over, put a small pitcher and glass for water on their nightstand, along with a book they might enjoy

40. Learn how to host a small dinner party

41. Have one subdued solid colour scheme throughout your home, use accessories to add colour

42. Learn how to make the perfect martini

43. Learn how to tie both a regular tie and a bow tie (whether you’re a man or a woman)

44. Be a lady or a gentleman at work, especially when delivering a difficult message or when tempers flare

45. Wear lovely/handsome hats

46. Don’t point out the mistakes of others

47. Wait your turn patiently

48. Don’t curse

49. Chew each bite 20 times

50. Sip your drink

51. Learn proper etiquette for all situations

52. Accept compliments graciously

53. Be quietly self confident

54. Don’t boast

55. Be respectful of others

56. Have fresh flowers in your home

57. Write a letter rather than send an email to those you love

58. Keep your nails well manicured

59. Maintain your shoes and clothing

60. Don’t ever lose your joie de vivre

61. Be well groomed

62. Remember that money does not equal elegance, nor is it necessary to be elegant

63. Wear less make-up

64. Wear well-fitting clothes

65. Spray lavender on your sheets

66. Be positive

67. Learn to politely say no

68. Be concerned with making others feel comfortable

69. Maintain good health

70. Don’t overindulge

71. Hold yourself to high standards

72. Turn your mobile off at dinner

73. Wear simple, classic hairstyles

74. Think before you speak or act. Ask yourself, can anything good come from this?

75. Apoligize sincerely

76. Have integrity

77. Don’t speak ill of others, or gossip

78. Always take a gift to your host or hostess

79. Tie a scarf on your handbag

80. Take a clutch in the evening

81. Wear well fitting jeans with either a long sleeve white shirt or solid sweater for more casual events

82. Only wear sneakers for exercise

83. Use white sheets, white towels, white dishes

84. Be sure your clothes are pressed

85. Your car’s horn should say “pardon me, but do you see me?”, rather than “get out of my way!”

86. Overdo empathy

87. Light candles in your home

88. Go for walks in the park on Sunday

89. Give others sincere compliments

90. Understand your own worth

91. Learn how to open a bottle of champagne

92. Dress appropriately for the occasion

93. Do small favours for others, without expecting anything in return

94. Say please and thank you

95. Take the time to stop and listen to others, especially children

96. Take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness

97. Keep a journal

98. Give thoughtful gifts, rather than expensive ones

99. Less is more

100. Savour the moment

Elegance is refusal. ~Coco Chanel